Jun 06 2011

The Strange Hotel Guy

One of the most awkward situations facing new prowlers is dealing with hotel desk clerks. If there were any way that we could do what we do without having to deal with a single extra human being (other than a sexy prowling buddy, of course), we would, but unless you have a private love nest, you have to deal with hotel desk clerks like the rest of us.

I’ve made no secret of my opinion that most hotel clerks are either stupid or they act like they are stupid. If you are a hotel clerk, please forgive me. You may be the single exception.

I’ve had a variety of experiences with hotel clerks, but I had one recently that was very unusual, and a little comical, and definitely worth sharing.

I was meeting JJ for a nice afternoon rendezvous and I arrived at the hotel first, so I decided I would get the room this time.

I walked up to the desk and asked the man standing there if they had any available rooms (I already knew the answer). As he started looking up a room on his glacially slow computer, I pulled out my driver’s license and credit card (yes, one that my husband isn’t aware of and that does not send a bill to my home) and put them on the desk.  The clerk reached out and grabbed them without even looking at me.  So far, so good.  We seem to both know what we’re doing.

Then I asked if he would please use my business address instead of the address on my ID. The reason for this is obvious, I don’t want a “Thank you for staying at Hotel XYZ” postcard arriving in my mailbox at home for my husband to see. The clerk stopped what he was doing and looked up at me for the first time.

“Sure,” he said. “What address would you like me to use?”

I rattled off my work address. After he wrote it down, he looked up at me again and said, “Don’t worry.  Everything here is very confidential.” Oh well, what I’m doing here is clearly no secret to this guy.

Then he asked with a devious little smile on his face, “How many adults will be in the room?”

I played along, “Two.” He smiled.

“Will there be any children with you?”

Is he serious? I responded simply, “What do you think?”

He laughed, “I guess not.”

At this point I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or if this felt creepy.

“How many beds would you like? A king? Or two queens?”

“I don’t think we’ll need more than one,” I replied.

He smiled and looked up at me again.  Okay, I’ve decided, it’s creepy.

He asked for a phone number, and I told him my cell number (more specifically, I gave him my Google Voice number).  He then asked, “Is that a home number or a cell number?”  I didn’t answer. I just stared at him in disbelief. Really?  Did he have to ask?

He chuckled a bit, printed out the registration form and slid it across the counter to me, along with my ID and credit card. I put the cards away, grabbed the pen, and looked at the form. I pointed at the address and looked  up at him with a raised eyebrow because my home address was listed on the form. He reached out and put his hand on top of mine, leaned over the counter to get closer to me, and said in a gentle voice, “Don’t worry.  I told you this is completely confidential. I’m the manager.  I’ll black that out so no one will see it.”

I was looking directly in his eyes at this point, trying to assess the depth of the creep factor, and that’s when I noticed it.

He was very attractive. I smiled.  He smiled. His fingers slid up my wrist a bit.

Then reality slapped me hard.  Holy shit! What are you doing, Kat?  I pulled my hand off the counter, moved the form to the side and signed it very quickly. I started digging in my purse pretending that I was looking for something so it didn’t appear obvious that I didn’t want to look at him anymore.

Within a minute, the paperwork was done, he handed me two keys, told me the room number, and I was out of there. I walked quickly out the front door because I needed to get a few things out of my car. Just as I stepped outside, JJ drove into the parking lot. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. Now I wouldn’t have to walk back in there and go to the room by myself.

I greeted JJ at his car and gave him a big hug and a kiss. The strange hotel guy was not on my mind anymore. We walked through the lobby and down the hallway.  I noticed that the guy was behind the desk and he said something like, “Have a nice afternoon,” but I ignored him and kept my eyes on JJ.

Have a nice afternoon?  Oh yeah, we did.


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  1. Ms. Inconspicuous

    He totally put you in the room with the cameras. 🙂

  2. Kat

    Don’t you hate it when they do that? 😉

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