Sep 07 2011

The Best Little Half Pill in My World – A Guest Post by SomewhereMan

I called the CVS on Friday, freaking out.

“Yeah, er…um…I had a prescription for Levitra a few months back.  Is it still there?”

After some rustling of papers, I hear the pharmacist say, “yes, we can fill it for up to 12 months.”

I sigh in relief.  This may be my last shot at saving Debbie.

“I’ll take 3 of the 10mg pills.”

“That’ll be $62.47.  See you in an hour.”

All because I had “fizzled out” with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been able to get naked in my 35+ years on the planet.  Two days before, Debbie and I had three hours in a hotel room.  Sure, she came multiple times, thanks to my tongue and hands but, as I was so damn nervous, I couldn’t get “hard enough” for what she really wanted.

“I want you inside of me,” she begged that day.

Crap!  This again?!?  Back in June, my incident with “Charlotte” (for the dear readers of the blog I destroyed five weeks ago) led to my blogging in the first place.  A “dead dick” pained me greatly.  I lost Charlotte forever because I was too nervous.

And now I was losing Debbie.  She no longer texted me with the words “sexy” or “miss you” or “I want to be with you right now”.  Since Wednesday, it had been more on a “friend” level.  I would write something sexual to her and get a “friendly” response…not the “wish I could suck your whole shaft and swallow your cum while looking into your eyes”.

She told me that I was more than just a hard cock to her.  She was “into me” for the whole person I was…
only, with my Limp Bizkit on Wednesday, we both knew that wasn’t 100% true.

Thus, Friday night, I picked up the Levitra…desperate to “Save Debbie”.


While reading over the side effects, I decided for a “self test” on Saturday night.  Wife was asleep.  Kids were long since out. 

I’m on the couch downstairs, watching college football.  (Hey, college football stimulates me, especially when the team I am backing is covering the spread).  I break off a 10mg pill in half for my suggested 5mg dose.

Wait twenty minutes. 

Start touching myself.

I had a missile for a cock within 4 or 5 minutes. 

Without touching it, the “Cock Missile” stayed…full-size… “18 years old with no dick control” (thanks, Eddie Murphy) size. 

Ah, what the hell, I thought, stroking it before hitting a climax during the Colorado-Hawai’i game. 

Best part?  The missile stayed hard… after the climax.

For 14 hours from when I swallowed the “half pill”, I had four rock-solid erections.  Of course, my wife – who has no idea about the Levitra – wanted no part of me.

I was ready for Debbie.

I had texted her on Saturday, telling her I had a “surprise” for her and that I thought we would both enjoy it.  We set a date… Wednesday morning.  My house.  I told her I’d need an hour for her to experience it.

On Tuesday, I decided to go shop for this “surprise”.  Found a sexy babydoll nightie for her.  That would be her “surprise”…before, hopefully, I’d have a real surprise.

Then a shocking text nearly gave me a heart attack.

“Hey!” Debbie writes.  “I’ve come some time right now (Tuesday morning).  Can I come over for my present?  Say…30 minutes?”

Holy crap.

I walk out to the secret hiding space where I keep my “now” 2 1/2 Levitra pills.  (empty plastic bag, unmarked). 

After I confirm that I’ll see her in a half hour, I gulp down a 5mg half-tablet.  I debate whether to do the full 10.  Nope…stick with the 5.

I know that…as I am in the shower, doing a scrub down, that — if I’m not hard and “ready for sex”, she’ll dump me before the afternoon.

THAT is pressure.

I drive to pick up her favorite coffee (that is my trademark whenever we meet — I hate coffee but she loves it when I listen and pay attention).  All the way, I’m terrified.  Terrified of a Charlotte Redux.  The disappointment of a cock that won’t stir, no matter how turned on I am.

Also…there’s this.

I never mentioned that I already jerked off two hours before.  Ugh.  That’s right.  I “rotated the crops”, thinking of Debbie and our scheduled encounter for Wednesday.


We meet at our assigned “business park” location as she pulls her ride next to mine. 

Author’s Note:  This is another tricky element as I am breaking SO many of Kat’s rules here.  Debbie & I go to the same church.  We live in the same neighborhood and, oh yeah, our kids know each other and, yes, we often give each other incredible climaxes in our basements.  At least the church “thing” has been worked out — it’s a megachurch and I go in the right entrance, she goes in the left.  I’ve “nodded” at her husband before in passing…

In the minutes before she pulls up, I do a “self-test”.  I touch my cock to see if the Levitra is kicking in.  A little bit — not on size but on sensation.  Something is happening in there — it’s not “growing” but it is feeling more sensitive.  Sigh… this is it.

As always, Debbie looks amazing.  White summer dress.  Black top, low-cut in front and sleeveless.  Form fitting.  Her hair is blonde, her skin is bronze from the summer sun.  Debbie is 42 but has a six-pack of abs from working out every single day.

I have no business being with this woman.

Here is why I am also so skittish.  We’ve been “dating” for two months.  She’s dumped me six times — often out of guilt and ALWAYS by email.  Each morning, when I wake up, I check my email before I check the texts…  If I get an email from her with “no subject”… then I’m getting dumped.  Yet, each time, within 48 hours, she texts me that she misses me…

And the cycle continues.

Yet on this day, Debbie hops into my car, with her awesome smile.  I hand her the deluxe coffee and off we drive.  Three blocks later, we’re at my house as I open the garage, closing it immediately after we pull in.

I’m not sure what will happen.  I’m sensing that I am not going to get dumped right “here and now”.  She walks inside and I start kissing her.  I can tell from her kiss that, no, I may be dropped tomorrow or by the weekend but…not today.

I walk over to the computer and play Chicago’s “Hard Habit to Break”, our inside joke of her dumping me about every 10 days.

As I return to kiss her, I’m rock hard. 

Thank you, Levitra.

I deviate from our usual pattern — of me going down on her for her first climax before I start worrying about myself.  I have the Cock Missile on this fine day.

She reaches down.

“Whoa!” she says.  “Let’s take advantage of this!”

Within thirty seconds, our clothes are off… the Trojan is on…and “we’re off”.

I put her on “all fours” and enter from behind.  I glide into her wet walls… savoring the first thrust…shocked that I’m even here – with a hard, full-size (and even wide) cock.  Not sure the last time I was *this* hard.

As she bucks, swirling her sexy, size 4 hips over my lucky and throbbing cock, I feel a weird sense of calm overtake me.  This is the man I used to be…back when I was a “boy”, really…a college kid who would go to sleep six nights a week by having mind-blowing sex with my “law school girlfriend”.  EVERY night, I’d go out drinking…and every night…she’d be studying and stressing…and then we’d release it all in her apartment.

This hour with Debbie had the same feeling – the same pawing of joy, of sex, of being close.

Yet I had to temper myself, even as I watched and felt her climax three minutes into me fucking her from behind. 

I wanted to tell this woman everything I felt about her…but I couldn’t.  I didn’t want to scare her.  She had mentioned, last week, a fear of feelings for me seeping in.  We had “agreed” a month before… no intercourse, no feelings, no strings attached.

Yeah… like we could stick to that.

I had never felt as close to a woman as I did today.. thank you, Levitra. 🙂

After her peak, I slid off to my side, spooning her, with my still hard cock pumping inside of her.  This went on for another ten minutes of pumping and fucking… then I had her go on top to ride me.

I watched her tan, beautiful body ride my “still hard” cock.  The joy pulsating throughout her body as I guided her to a second climax… with the thumb-on-clit, cock-in-pussy lunch combo.

Then as she collapsed onto me, her blonde hair tickling my cheek, that was the time to look into her eyes and say, “I love you, Debbie”… but I didn’t.

I couldn’t scare her.  No matter how much I wanted to say it.  🙂

All in all, the Levitra-laden cock made it 27 minutes before I finally pulled out for good and she took my “somewhat hard” little guy for a wide blowjob ride before I fired burst…after burst…after burst all over the back of her mouth.

How did I know 27 minutes?  Seven songs on the playlist 🙂  27 minutes.

One more time, everybody…. “Thank You, Levitra.”

As we lay in each other’s arms, once I was all cleaned up, we talked a little about the rest of our day.  My index finger dancing about her bare, tan mound where she was all “waxed”. 

With a final kiss, she said, “I’ve got ten minutes before I have to go.”

I kissed her again.

“Stay here,” I commanded as I opened up her legs.  “You’re leaving here with a smile.”

And my tongue slid along her clit and inside her pussy lips as I fired up her engine for a final trip to Satisfactiontown.

As I drove her back to her car, we held hands but still lacked the closeness we had enjoyed two weeks before.

Maybe she’s getting scared at what’s happening between us.  I know I am a little bit as well.

I would move up my “date of escape” to try and make it work with Debbie.  I am that “into her”.

In the five hours from when we said goodbye to when I wrote this note, her texts have fallen off.  Very “clinical”.  Very much a friend.

Sure, I’ll probably get dumped soon…again.

However, I’m fine with it.  At least, unlike Charlotte, it won’t be because I had a Limp Bizkit… that’s for damn sure.

– SomewhereMan


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  1. Ms. Inconspicuous

    I lost Charlotte forever because I was too nervous.

    No. You lost Charlotte because she was kind of a bitch.


  2. Anonymous

    Loved your old blog. Glad you’re back.

  3. Riff Dog

    Great story. I know exactly the feeling of opportunity knocking just a couple hours after “rotating the crops.”

  4. Kat

    Ms. I – Thank you! I keep telling him that Charlotte was a b*tch, but he won’t listen to me anymore.

    I’m adding “rotating the crops” to my list of sex euphemisms. It must be a midwestern thing.

    SomewhereMan – Thank you! I love your posts, as you know. Congrats on the success story.

  5. Myli

    The whole situation with Charlotte was not your fault. She reacted badly and like others have said, she was a bitch! Glad to see you writing again. I miss you and your blog!

  6. JerZey Girl

    I agree with Ms. I! Anyway, great story Somewhere Man. Hang in there. There are plenty of other “fish” in the sea 😉

  7. Anonymous

    …And great to hear from the friends again here!

    Charlotte *IS* a bitch. That is not is doubt. An update: she bolted to Utah, leaving her kids here, six states away. Class act.

    I had the opportunity AGAIN last night for hot sex with Debbie. This time, I popped half a pill about an hour before we met. THAT is the ideal time, at least for me. I was a sex machine last night — guiding Debbie to three more orgasms, including the Limited Edition “Inside Climax” before two more clit-based orgasms. 🙂

    I came three times myself… all within an hour.

    Never thought this would be the case but I may need to get a refill by next week!

    However, Debbie is now a straight up sex maniac because of the Levitra. I am now wondering if I need to mix in a “non-Levitra experience” here and there. I’m now setting the bar so DAMN high for her!

    Or should I just remain a jackhammer?

    One more time: Thanks, Levitra! 🙂

    – SomewhereMan

  8. Plan

    After reading his blog I really can’t imagine how you consider this guy “confident”. Fun to read but sort of like a train wreck.

  9. Kat

    Plan – You have got to be kidding. You don’t think it takes confidence to talk about openly about this stuff? I’ve gotten to know SomewhereMan pretty well over the last few months and I can confidently say that he is not even close to being a “train wreck.”

    Maybe you’re a tiny bit jealous?

  10. Anonymous

    Oh, I have “train wreck” days. The crappy element of prowling is that you have to keep those days to yourself.

    However, confident comes from success. Success comes from drive. For me, drive comes from urgency. Urgency, again for me, comes from insecurity/fear of failure.

    But I also know that, when I walk into a room full of people and all eyes are on me — whether work, a store, a gathering of friends — I try to make that confidence contagious. 🙂

    – SomewhereMan

  11. Plan

    I’m not jealous but there are many things he’s written about his life and relationship with his wife that don’t say “confidence”

    As I said, I do enjoy reading his stuff.

  12. JerZey Girl

    Somewhere Man I have been thinking about you lately. After you wrote this I began an affair with my boss. He is a wonderful lover but had the slightest bit of performance anxiety and I couldn’t help but be sympathetic and it made me love him even more. It worked out and he is fine but his psyche is so so fragile and your blog made it real for me.

  13. Anonymous


    Thanks for sharing that. Part of the reason I wanted to post this, aside from my love of writing about myself (roll your eyes), was to put a ‘face’ on this.

    ED stinks. It’s awful. It’s plagued me for quite a long time, as I had written about before.

    I’m fairly open with my doc so it wasn’t a big deal but I imagine for many men it would be… the ability to not be able to perform as “in the past” is devastating.

    Speaking as an ED patient, when I’m not hard… it’s not because I don’t want to be. It’s not because I’m turned on. It’s not because I don’t want to give you my maximum size and effort when making love to you.

    It’s probably because I’m nervous… which could be for any number of reasons.
    – Getting caught
    – Sex in public
    – A negative experience with sex recently (I’ve had those)

    And I’m sure there’s plenty of other reasons… and plenty of other men in this same issue.

    Like I said, I found Levitra a fantastic “helper”. Now, there are times where I don’t even need it as my confidence, sexually, is back at “full length”. 🙂

    But, if I think I have an “experience” waiting for me, I’ll pop a half-pill. However, I have to gauge whether it will be worth the mild headache that surfaces later in the day.

  14. JerZey Girl

    In our situation it was a matter of patience. Our first encounter was good although there was not an explosive orgasm. No problem. We were both nervous and I re-assured him over and over. We took the weekend off then Monday was much better. Yesterday was touch and go and I think also in our case condoms play a big part. Once he took that condom off he completely let loose. This morning he said it was theraputic for him to have that release. I am convinced you need someone with patience maybe meet and fondle first. It will “cum”…pardon the pun. Good luck to you SWM

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