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Sep 25 2013

Separated from the Herd

I was at an event with my son on Monday night, the kind of event where there are typically lots of fathers there with their sons. I wasn’t running the meeting so I had the opportunity to just observe. I haven’t had passionate sex in months so I felt like a kid in a candy store, salivating as I looked at all the variety.

Most of the dads were grouped together, but several were not. These few were standing or sitting alone throughout the room or sitting with their sons. One of them was a very hot, new-to-the-group fireman dad.

The mom next to me noticed me watching him and said, “Kat, I don’t think he needs your help.”

I smiled and replied, “Oh, but I’m sure he does,” and I walked over to the other side of the room where he was sitting alone at a table with his young son.

Nothing happened, of course, except that we got to know each other better and we exchanged phone numbers so we can communicate about activities for the boys. The point of the story is that he may or may not have been the best looking guy in the room, but if he had been sitting with a pack I would have avoided him (unless I was in a really playful mood, but that’s another story). He was more attractive and attainable because he was separated from the herd.

I wonder sometimes if married men are aware that they are being observed and targeted for possible consumption by horny women? I know it happens more than they know.

Here’s how it will go with fireman dad.  Next week I’ll bring a small, inexpensive gift for his son, related to the group to which we belong, and I’ll say I heard him mention he needed or wanted whatever it is.  It could be a hat, neckerchief, patch, handbook, whatever. I’ll also strike up a brief conversation with dad, but I’ll be sure that *I* walk away from the conversation first.

If he doesn’t bring wife with him to the next meeting, I’m good.  If he does, I’ll back off.

If it’s a go, I’ll sit next to him at the next meeting with my son sitting next to his. Yes, I may have to bribe him, but it’s only right to help the new kid feel welcome, isn’t it?

Then, I’ll back off until there’s an outing.  I’ll suggest that we car pool. By then it will be clear if there’s any chemistry or not. If not, I’ve made a friend and all is well. This is where things usually stop with men in my real life. It’s too dangerous to go further so there has to be some serious chemistry to even think about that.

If there is some chemistry, it’s time to suggest a meeting for coffee. At that meeting, if it feels right, I’ll suggest something even more private, if he doesn’t do it first.

Why take so long?  Because I met him in a completely non-sexual context. It usually takes longer than meeting someone on AM or in a bar. Obviously.

He separated himself from the herd to some degree at that first meeting, but I have to completely separate him from that herd to know if he’s a prowler or if he wants to be.

So, Prowlers, what tips do you have for separating other prowlers from the herd so you can move in for the kill?  Gee, that sounds so violent. It’s time to ditch the herd metaphor, I think.

How do you go from meeting someone in a coffee shop or the grocery store (or wherever) to making them a playmate?

11 comments

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  1. Ryan Beaumont

    So what I hear you saying is that I need to limp around by myself and look meek and tasty and some predatory feline will grab me and take me away?? I think I can do that!

    Do I have to eat any grass while I do that? 🙂

  2. GoodWill

    I love to think that women see me the way you describe. I’d be so curious to know who. Whether or not I’d ever act on it being irrelevant…I just love knowing there is a woman who thinks/daydreams the way I do about people I don’t know yet…

  3. JFBreak

    Sweet mother of God, Kat you have a perfect criminal mind! The fireman could just as easily be the Hope Diamond and you have concocted a well orchestrated plan to grab it. Kudos, Ma’am.

    I suddenly feel the urge to borrow my nephew and attend some sort of play group.

  4. Max

    Echoing JFB’s hilarious comment. 🙂

    Asking us for advice? I’m just happy to be able to watch a master in action!

  5. Lust for Love

    You give us this chance to understand a woman’s mind. But sad to say, I don’t like to follow the crowd, but still no one has targeted me yet.

  6. Advizor54

    I wonder if he can feel the little red laser dot on his forehead yet….

    Your “date” progression is spot on. For me it usually started at work, so it was meetings with a saved chair, or ditching the meeting to get a soda downstairs, and then lunch down the street, and then something at the mall. Once at the mall shopping is a great barometer. Do you look for clothes and give her your opinion and have her try something on? Does she blush when you suggest victoria’s secret or let you tag along without hesitation.

    dressing rooms and freight elevators are wonderful places to get a decision.

    And, it helps if you have skills that justify a home visit, plumbing, electrical, computer, or decorating. Anything to open the door to an invitation.

  7. Whores & Hookers

    I like the way your mind works.

    If he’s a virgin, slow is best, at risk of you becoming bored.

    If he’s a player you can move faster than that.

  8. eve malone

    I love your blog Kat.

  9. eve malone

    You’ve inspired me to start a blog too. http://Www.escapingmyhusband.blogspot.com

  10. KRS

    Great Blog, signed PGS

  11. Mike

    Hey Kat..

    Are you still around? Miss your posts!

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