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Sep 19 2014

If I Swallow a Couple Loads of Cum, Can I Ditch My Daily Protein Shake?

I’ve had the same unusual thought twice in the last 24 hours.  The first was yesterday morning as I was swallowing my second load of T’s delicious cum.  The second was while I was chatting with SNS Guy this afternoon.

How much protein is really in semen?  And is it enough for me to substitute it for a protein shake?  As you know, I love giving BJs and it sure is more fun and fulfilling than mixing up a protein shake. I’ve never had a lover  groan and pull my hair while watching me down a protein shake, either.

So, I decided to find out how much protein is really in semen so I could answer my question. First, I scoured the internet for information from all the most reputable popular sources, such as Wikipedia, ask.com, men.com, and Yahoo answers.  I can tell you that the information from those sources varied significantly.  Who should I believe?

So I decided to bite the bullet and look for information among the scientists and the topic specific sites.  That means I must issue a Science Alert here, but don’t worry, I’ll put it into everyday language as best I can so those of you who prefer not to think won’t have to worry your pretty little heads about it.

First, the basics.

Semen is made up of sperm, water, sugars, proteins and amino acids, vitamins (C, B12, and choline), hormones, enzymes, and and trace elements of some body byproducts (lactic acid, uric acid, nitrogen). Interestingly, there’s almost twice as much sugar as protein in semen, but we’re talking about such a small amount that the carbs won’t ruin your Atkins diet.

To calculate the protein content of semen, we need to know the typical volume of semen per ejaculate. In other words, what is the average load volume? There is some discrepancy in the literature, but the consensus seems to be that it ranges from 3/4 of a teaspoon to a full tablespoon.  That’s a pretty big range for average, but there it is.  I know for a fact that Webcam Guy’s loads were a lot bigger than a tablespoon, but he’s not average, of course. Anyway, we’ll calculate the average volume at about a teaspoon.

Scientists calculate between 171 mg and 500 mg per load.  Yes, that’s quite a range, too. As you can see, an exact calculation will be impossible to do using averages, but we can get close. Let’s use 500 mg just because it will make the math easier, but be aware that it will be lower in most cases.

There are 20 grams of protein in the brand of protein shake I use. Because 500 mg = .5 gram, it would take 40 loads of semen to replace the protein content of my shake.  Clearly, I can’t get enough protein that way to replace my daily shake. Dang.

But I sure would love to try.

I know what some of you are thinking.  Is the amount of protein the same for the ejaculate of a man who has had a vasectomy?  (Isn’t that what you were thinking?) Well, because there’s lots of protein in sperm, there must be less protein in ejaculate with sperm.  However, sperm only make up 1-5% of the stuff in semen and the other stuff in semen also has some protein, so while there is less protein in a load of cum without sperm, there’s still a reasonable amount.

So, if I were blowing a guy who’d had a vasectomy, it could take about 60 – 80 loads to replace my protein shake. Wow.  That’s a lot. It could take me 6 months just to replace one shake!

As long as we’re speaking of semen, you may want to know that a load averages 5-15 calories, depending on the size of the load and the man’s diet, so you can tell assure your wife (or Lover, or both) that giving you head and swallowing won’t ruin her diet.

Now you have inspired me. Look for coming posts on Why Blow Jobs Are Good for You (a tool for convincing your lover to blow you) and How Can You Make Your Sperm Taste Yummy.

10 comments

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  1. Sillyone

    I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered about this.

  2. Hubman

    Now I’m wondering how many calories I get when I kiss Veronica before she’s had a chance to swallow my cum…

  3. Lola

    Thanks Kat for your research and summary. My question that I’ve had for a long time is: When I cum, how many calories do I burn/get rid of? In other words, it must burn up some amount of calories to replace the tablespoon’s worth of ejaculate I just dispensed into, onto, around Lola. Right? Thanks, H.H.

  4. rachel-xx

    You’ve got my attention. πŸ™‚

  5. Anonymous

    pineapple juice, wink!

  6. Same sassy girl

    When I was in chemo and they told me I needed a high protein diet to promote healing, this question was definitely on my mind!

  7. Bob Archer

    A comment: In high school, a friend claimed that she didn’t swallow because there was something like 1000 calories in a load of cum. I knew that was not true, of course, because I would have been losing 1000-2000 calories a day just from masturbation.

    A question: Any truth to a rumor I heard that a guy with a vasectomy tastes better?

  8. ~McKPR

    I crave the taste of my lover and yet I have to ask him to cum in my mouth *smirk* πŸ˜‰

  9. Anonymous

    Find a guy like this one and then in the words of Obama, “yes we can!”.

    Wisconsin Man Suffers 100 Unwanted Orgasms A Day

  10. Kat

    Bob – Nope. No truth to that at all. It’s all about what a man east and drinks and the state of his health. That’s what impacts taste.

    Sillyone – Me, too! LOL

    Hubman – Hmm….I may have to research that. πŸ˜‰

    Lola/HH – That’s in a future post. Keep coming back!

    rachel-xx – There’s nothing like being health conscious AND sexy. πŸ˜‰

    Anon 1:29 – Hm. I wonder if you are who I think you are. Regardless, yes, pineapple juice makes semen sweeter. πŸ™‚

    Sassy – The way I figure it, ANY amount of extra protein helps, right? hehe

    McKPR – I crave it, too! I think he has finally figured it out, though. Thank goodness!

    Anon 4:11 – OMG! That poor guy! You’re right, though, I’d get plenty of protein from him, but as much as I love to give head, I don’t think I’d want to swallow THAT much cum

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