Jan 10 2012

11 Things I Learned from Watching Cheaters

I was on vacation for a week over the holidays.  One day when I was home by myself (a very rare event), I watched a few episodes of the T.V. show Cheaters. It was purely for research, of course.  To be honest, I really couldn’t stand the show, not because it showed cheaters getting caught, but it was displaying – in a very crude and cruel way – peoples’ pain, and pandering to the desire of others to see people in pain.  I am not into that sort of thing at all.

But I did learn a few things while watching those episodes.

  1. “Motherfucker” seems to be a much more commonly used word than I thought.
  2. Most of the folks on that show go bat shit crazy when they get the proof that their partner is cheating. Hubby and I were quite civilized.
  3. You can always count on reality TV to show the worst possible side of humanity.
  4. There are no truly innocent parties in that show.  The most guilty?  The creators, crew, and cast of the show.  I saw one woman (the cheater) who was so distraught when she was caught and shamed publicly that she almost jumped off the roof of a building.
  5. Apparently, when I learned about Hubby’s cheating, I should have screamed at him, “What now, Motherfucker?!!!!” My approach of holding him, telling him it was ok, and telling him I loved him seems not to be the popular response.
  6. Apparently, when Hubby learned about my cheating, he should have screamed at me, “You fucking whore!!!”  His approach of holding me, telling me it was ok, and telling me that he loved me seems not to be the popular response, either.
  7. People who really want to cheat will find the most creative ways to be together. I picked up a few good ideas. 😉
  8. Apparently some people think that the car wash is a good place to clean up after a rendezvous.  Eww.
  9. Most of the female cheaters on that show look and dress like hookers.
  10. Some people seem to think that exposing their young children to the “gottcha!” moment is appropriate. (I don’t.)
  11. The show hosts a social network for people looking for partners who don’t cheat. Of course, you have to take a pledge swearing that you’re single and not in a relationship, and that you won’t cheat. Whew….I’m sure that pledge makes sure no one ever lies about that.  Check it out: http://www.nocheatersdate.com/ .

As I watched that trash, I thought, this is emotional pornography. Relationships – even the ugly and troubled ones – shouldn’t be broken down into violent entertainment like that.  Who thought that making a show like this was a good idea?


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  1. Naughty Kitty

    LOL I like your list Kat! I hate the show as well but my husband is fascinated by it. It’s almost as though he is waiting to see ME coming out of one of those hotel rooms. To be honest I have worried that one of these days that damn Joe (whatever his name is) will come chasing after me with his film crew shouting his questions at me. P.S. I thought the same thing about the non-cheating website. Sort of like on Ashley Madison when the guys say they are looking for long term committed relationships.

  2. Ms. Inconspicuous

    What it is is scripted television, not a portrayal of reality. I’m willing to guess that MOST cheating-reveals are fairly quiet affairs.

    I’d also bet that a lot of those setups are just that–setups–and don’t utilize people who are actually cheating or actually in the relationships. In fact, I read an article to that effect once; the reason so many women look like hookers is that they’re paid to be a faux-affair partner. So essentially they are.

  3. Luna Moon

    I caught an episode of “Cheaters” when I was sick and lying on the couch with nothing better to do!

    Very, very distasteful. In the episode I watched, they had installed a webcam in a teddy bear in the couple’s room. Ugh. Who would want to watch that!

    Another classic moment that I recall was a guy peeing on the wall before going inside to see his so-called lover. What a classy dude.

    A very ugly show…whether 100% scripted or true to life…

  4. Ryan Beaumont

    This is why the only reality TV I watch is NASCAR!

    But yeah, all that stuff is staged.

  5. Anonymous

    In response to point #4:

    Those behind the creation of “Cheaters” bear no responsibility for that woman’s (thankfully averted) decision to end her life. Her shame is a consequence of her decision to cheat, as is the possibility that her significant other would go to such extreme lengths to expose her. Thus, she only has herself to blame if she chose the route of suicide.

    And there is an innocent party: the cheated spouse/s.other. The cheater has basically robbed him or her of the ability to choose a relationship with a cheater or to move forward with another.

  6. Southern Sir

    I have watched that show a few times and that was more then enough for me. Sadly reality TV is nothing but, they cut, edit, and tweak looking for a particular response, and your right it shows the worst of humanity.
    This show is right up there with Jerry Springer.

    Sadly this like tabloid magazines and the paparazzi have found deep roots in society. I think it is a way for people to disassociate and take their minds off their own problems.

    If people would stop watching the shows, reading the magazines, etc, they would fade away.

  7. Doug1

    I missed the post in which you discussed your hubby having caught you. Would you link it?

    Does he now have any idea of the extent of your cheating?

    Does he know it’s continued?

    Do you now have mutual open marriage permission?

  8. H

    Items 5 and 6, you guys are extrodanary my hat is off to you. I thought I liked you before but this makes me put you up on a pedalstal.

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